Do you remember that scene in The Princess Bride where Inigo Montoya is trying to convince Miracle Max to do a miracle for him and Miracle Max only agrees to do the miracle if it’ll humiliate Prince Humperdink? Inigo assures Miracle Max that there will be “humiliations galore.” Here it is–all 2 seconds of it.
When I survey the wonderful bounty in my house I can hear Inigo’s voice saying, “Chocolates galore.”
Chocolates galore. That’s what I’m faced with. Chocolates galore. Hang on while I go eat one.
I’m back. See, I was asked to set up a photobooth for a Valentine’s banquet at church. We needed Valentine’s Day props. So I bought three little boxes of chocolates that people could use as props. I didn’t want people accidentally opening the boxes and all the chocolates rolling around and people stepping on them and the chocolates being wasted. I’m not like those stereotypical Americans that you hear about. I’m all about not wasting things, so I kept those chocolates by golly, and I’m proud to say so. I’m doing my part to make the world a greener place. Someone has to eat the chocolates–why not me? When you add those three little boxes to the big box Darling Husband got for me there most certainly are chocolates galore.
My friend Jo-Ann’s cousin was skinny and in dire dread of gaining weight. She kept careful eye on every bite she took. One year someone bought her a box of chocolates for Christmas and those chocolates proved to be more than she could withstand. She called Jo-Ann on Dec 26th and broke the news. “You know that box of chocolates I got yesterday for Christmas? Well, it’s empty. I ate them all.” Jo-Ann was properly scandalized, “Oh my goodness!,” until she asked, “Exactly how many did you eat??!!” The breathless reply, “Four!”
I’m pretty sure there was a lot of eye rolling on Jo-Ann’s part and she hung up the phone in disgust.
I am not like Jo-Ann’s cousin. I have many more than four chocolates in my house. I have chocolates galore.
Every year at the Valentine’s banquet someone volunteers to take pictures of each couple and they print them out and everyone has a picture of themselves dressed up. I never liked that part when I attended the banquets. You had to stand in front of a Scary Photographer who made you smile, and you knew the smile was just ghastly and you knew the picture would be horrible and, oh, it was just All Too Much. And I was right. I always looked like I was dying in those pictures.
Well, now I realize that the Scary Photographers taking the pictures were people who have since become my friends and they’re actually quite nice and not scary at all (well, most aren’t), but I didn’t know that then. And no one else knows it now. They don’t know me. I have become The Scary Photographer!
So this year when I was approached and asked if I’d set up a photobooth where people use the remote to take their own picture without a Scary Photographer looming it seemed like a good idea to me. There would be props to hide behind for the very shy and if you didn’t like the picture you were free to try again.
Darling Husband couldn’t make it to the dinner, so I thought it might be fun to take a picture of an invisible Darling Husband. But it didn’t turn out quite as clever as I liked and since I didn’t want to look like a total loser who has no friends to take a picture with I decided to take a picture with myself.
So I took this picture from earlier in the day when I was setting up the booth:
And tried to combine it with this picture from the night of the banquet…
But they overlapped.
So I flipped this picture….
And combined it with this picture…
And made the colors slightly richer and was done:
Speaking of colors, look at my hair. I’m the same person with the same hair, so why the different colors? They’re not really different. Cover the bottom half and look only at the hair on the top of my head. It’s brown. That reddish color growing out at the bottom? Yeah, that’s from Wendy’s costume party where I dyed my hair red for my costume. It was supposed to wash out in 28 shampooings.
The party was in October of 2013.
I swear to you, I swear (!) that I have washed my hair more than 28 times since 2013. Honest!
Stupid hair dye.