No Gym Class for Homeschoolers

I didn’t get to be a gym teacher today.  Oh, rats.  I had my whistle ready by the door and was going to wear my jaunty sport clothes and everything.  I might even have put my hair in a pony tail.

I was supposed to teach gym at the homeschool co-op today, but those homeschoolers have an aversion to leaving the house to go to school, and they decided to cancel the entire co-op.  It was just a little freezing rain, people!  No need to stay snug in bed until 8 and then eat a lovely breakfast of cream of wheat instead of scraping an inch of ice off the windows and sliding down the road….wait.  Today sounds like the perfect day to stay snug in bed until 8 eating cream of wheat for breakfast!  Those homeschoolers are genius!

And we need a gym class.  The kids needed to learn a few of the basics.  Last year when we started the class the gym teacher had the kids count off 1, 2, 1, 2, etc. and then told all the 1s to go here and the 2s to go there.  The kids were all confused and ended up in a big jumble.  Most of them forgot their numbers.  They didn’t know who was supposed to go where.  There were 40 kids on one team and 10 on the other.  Guess counting off to make teams isn’t something we’re born knowing, like knowing how to build a nest or knowing how to swim upriver to our spawning place.

Sometimes people ask homeschoolers odd little questions like, “But if you homeschool, how will your kids know how to stand in line?”  Yes, that’s a real question people love to ask.  Homeschoolers are a little baffled by this question, but I suppose they mean, “How will they learn the self-control to stand still facing one direction without dancing about or shoving the people around them?”

Eh.  I think that they’ll figure it out when they’re kicked out of the DMV for dancing about and shoving people.  If that happens to you even one time, you’ve got that lesson down pat.  No need for 12 years of standing in line to learn that one.  Lesson learned in a single day!

Just today, after Boy8 was totally irritating the heck out of Boy11, I told them, “You know, homeschoolers get asked this question a LOT:  ‘But if you don’t send your children to school, how will they learn to deal with difficult people?'”

Boy11 gave a loud snort and knocked his brother off the couch.  I guess that’s how.

Ok, I have no idea where this post is going.  I’m mostly making things up now, so I need to stop.  I’m heading out (in the freezing rain) to my 4th celebratory birthday dinner out.  Birthdays are great.  Everyone should have one at least once a year.


2 thoughts on “No Gym Class for Homeschoolers

  1. LOL. To my knowledge this is the first time I have been talked about (individually, not just as part of a collective group) in a blog post! Come on now can’t you mention some of the successful things I did with them and not only an unsuccessful team divide tactic. But thanks for a little comic relief. I needed some after my “CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!” declaration only brought more exhaustion with all the questions of “Who is Calgon?” and What does that mean?”

  2. If I’d have known you were ok with being in The Blog I’d have called you by name and used pictures.

    I didn’t talk about the good stuff in P.E. class because it doesn’t make for good comic relief.

    “Who is Calgon?” means you head to Youtube and find out. Like this commercial where the woman is whisked away to a bath in a Greek temple. Wow, that Calgon stuff is powerful! I wanna be taken away to a bath in a Greek temple, too!

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