Some people never learn

You would not believe the number of horrible things I need to do.  For example, I’ve taken on the insane responsibility of providing 12 years of education for my children.

What was I thinking??

I wasn’t even supposed to have kids.  For a lovely decade of married life, we lived breezy lives filled with dinners out and dusty houses (dusty because we were always out at dinner) and superior looks directed to those people with their noisy, messy children at the next table over.

And then insanity struck and we had children.  Willingly! And if that wasn’t crazy enough, we decided to homeschool them.  For crying out loud!

All the curricula (whoa—watch out for that fancy pluralizing!) is sold at fairs in April and May.  If you buy at the fair shipping and handling is free.  Hot dog!  Free shipping and handling?  Sign me up!  But that means I have to plan the school year rightnow in time for the fair.

I also have to clean out the attic before it gets hot enough up there that the few remaining brain cells I have left after having kids melt out through my ears.  Wait…can your brain melt out through your ears?  Tomorrow’s anatomy lesson: watch the Mythbuster’s episode of brains melting out of your ears and find out.

I also have to tidy my messy, messy house.  Instead of tidying it yesterday when it was still almost under control, I visited with friends and we ate salsa and Chinese food and cakes and lazed around watching Doctor Who episodes.

And on top of all that, I need to edit a bunch of pictures.

And am I doing any of that?  No!   I’m writing a blog.  I’ve been wanting to write this blog since Saturday night at about 7:36.  Actually, I’ve been wanting to write before that but there was no time and, honestly, not a lot of material.  But on Saturday night I finally had some awesome material.  There is nothing more tantalizing to a writer than real live material.

And time.  Time to write is important.

Most professional writers say that you simply must carve out time to write every single day.  Can you imagine trying to carve out time to write every single day?  Like, for a year or something?  And maybe throw in a picture every day, too?  Who has time for that?!  I’m sure I don’t know.

Let me tell you about Saturday night and the Stars.

There’s a program at church for the girls.  They go to classes every Thursday night and at the end of 6 or so years of classes from preschool to 5th grade, they can opt to take a test involving lots of memory verses and such, and if they pass, they are crowned.  Their class is called the Star class when they reach the 5th grade level.

The crowning is a big event for these girls.  They wear fancy dresses and get their hair done by Sandy, and if she can make my rat’s nest hair look good, then you know she’s an amazing hairdresser, there’s a big long ceremony with speeches and dinner afterward.

This year, my friend Kris’ daughter was being crowned and she asked me to take pictures.  She asked me to get a shot of each girl in her dress, and also one of the girl with her parents.

I took the pictures of the three other families and saved Kris’ family for last.  Why for last?  Because I know better.  I know better than to try to get anything done photography-wise with Kris and her family.

Here’s what happened:

First, her husband Eric did not cooperate.  Eric is the sort of man who would turn feral without the taming influence of his wife.  He’d be out in a tree hunting deer every single day of his life if he could, living in a hut decorated wall to wall with dead deer heads.

So the fact that he’s in a tie is a victory for civilization.  And the fact that he’ll even pretend to try to get his picture taken is astounding.  But a man can only take so much:


And apparently, a girl can only take so much:


We tried again, but the Sabotage of the Pictures wasn’t over yet:


And then the whole thing just fell apart.  Apparently, there’s only so much an entire family can take:


I’m not sure what Kris was thinking.  I mean, I warned her last time when I published this picture (below) for the fourth (and now the fifth!) time, not to make silly faces at a photographer with an armed camera:


Kris will be glad to know that I won’t be using that above picture any more.  I’ll be using this one, all cropped and lookin’ good:


In the end I did manage one nice picture of the family. But I don’t have time to post that now.  That’ll have to be on a post another day.


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