A Shoulder Shimmy, Chunks of Brown Sugar, and the Mayor is a Werewolf?!

Being sick for 10 days has brought me a host of problems.

I thought it took 21 days for habits to form, but that’s just not true.  It took only 10 I’m-sick-so-I-have-to-lie-around-on-the-couch days for my habit to form:  obsessive television watching.

Oh, save me from the television!

No, actually it’s not the television that’s the problem.  It’s the iPad.

Oh, save me from the iPad!

See on an iPad, you can watch Netflix all day and all night. If it was just movies, that would be one thing.  But no, it’s the tv shows that are the problem.  Each season of a tv show is basically a 22 hour long movie.

Oh, save me from 22 hour long movies!

With an iPad, you can slowly shuffle through the house idly kicking aside the couch pillows (lots of fort building in this house) and piles of legos (I strongly urge you to keep your shoes on when you pop in for a visit), carrying your iPad with you everywhere you go, watching tv.

I manage to get our 4-5 hours of homeschool in and then spend 5 minutes making sure we have clean underwear and clean forks, and then the remaining 18 hours and 55 minutes of the day are dedicated to watching Netflix on the iPad.  I’m not even sure whether or not anyone in my family has eaten in the past 5 days.  I think a long time ago I used to be in charge of cooking the food, but I just can’t remember.  I’ve been subsiding on bananas, some withered cherry tomatoes and cheese sticks.  From what I can tell from the mess in the kitchen, the boys have been eating chunks of brown sugar and raw ramen noodles.

The other problem with being sick for 10 days is that there are lingering sinus issues.  Which means I can’t sing anymore.  Oh, I can sing, but it sounds like those dying giraffes I’ve told you about in the past.  When I try to hit the notes, my voice won’t work.  It sort of warbles and then slides into a wrong key–completely out of my control.  I’m afraid the kids might be scarred for life from hearing my pitiful attempts at song.

Then again it might not have been the singing that scarred them.  It might have been the dancing.  Hey, the theme song for the Iron Man cartoon is pretty catchy.  (Really.  Listen here.)  I sang along and couldn’t resist adding a little wiggle.  Boy10 turned an embarrassed shade of red, but it wasn’t until I got to the shoulder shimmies that Boy10 finally put his foot down and said, “Mom!  Never do that again!  Never!”  Boy7 just turned his head to the side and wept.

Speaking of singing, last night at Hair Cut Night, one of my friends was talking about going to a seminar for people who lead the music in churches.  At the seminar you learn how to sing prayers.

Which reminded me of my invisible friends.  Yes, I have invisible friends, what’s it to you?  There’s a homeschool forum website I used to liked to visit until tv took over my life.  After a while you get to know some of the people who post on it.  I call them my invisible friends. (welltrainedmind.com/forums.)

One of my invisible friends started a thread about how it bothers her to pray in front of other people. Someone else responded with…well, hang on and I’ll get the exact quote:

**I got asked to pray and was caught flat-footed at a district BSA meeting. Fortunately, this song popped into my mind:

So, let the words of our mouth

And the meditations of our heart

Be acceptable in Thy sight.

Oh, verai!

I actually sang it! And they’ve never asked me since…  **

I love that story, don’t you?  Can you see her sitting in her seat minding her own business, probably slightly bored, watching the meeting unfold? And then, someone turns to her and says, “Brunhilda, will you please lead us in prayer?”

And her eyes grow slowly wider and she stammers, “Uh…sure…” and closes her eyes.  There’s a beat of silence as she scrambles for words.  But instead of any intelligible words forming in her brain, all she can think of is the song.

So she sings it. Out loud.  Even the Latin bit.  In front of everyone.

And when she’s done, can you see everyone giving her sidelong glances, some confused, some amused, and her looking defensive yet trying to pull it off as if everyone sings when they’re asked to pray.  Can you picture the leader of the group quietly crossing Brunhilda’s name off the Lead Us In Prayer list?

Speaking of praying for people, those of you who attend my church know that Darling Husband is on the church board and this past Sunday the board members and their spouses prayed for people during the church service.  This was our last time praying though, because Darling Husband’s term as a board member is up and he wasn’t voted back in.


No, no, he’s ok.  We’ve done more jobs in churches than you can shake a stick at.  He’ll find something to do to make himself useful.

Back to Sunday:  after we prayed for people, the pastor thanked Darling Husband for his time on the board and unexpectedly handed us a little envelope as a “small token of thanks.”

I’ve always wondered what was in those little envelopes. I don’t know what’s been in other people’s little envelopes, but you’ll appreciate the love and care that went into picking out what went into our little envelope.  We waited until we got home to open it. Look at what it is:


A Li’s Buffet gift certificate.  (!)  Incidentally, we already had plans to eat at Li’s Buffet that very afternoon.  See:


And now I have to go because Katherine is back and she looks just like Elena and is doing Very Bad Things pretending to be Elena and trouble is brewing.  Big, big trouble.


2 thoughts on “A Shoulder Shimmy, Chunks of Brown Sugar, and the Mayor is a Werewolf?!

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