How To Write A Blog and A Peeping Tom

TWO

After writing 368 blogs so far this year, here are 10 tips on How to Write a Blog:

1. Take leave of all of your senses.

2.  Come up with a point to your blog.  Mine is taking a picture a day.  Yours could be writing about what your dog did that day.

Actually, I follow a woman’s blog who does just that: she writes about her dog every day and she is hilariousClick here to read her blog. 

3. It’s ok to write about your life, but think of the most intimidating person you know and imagine that they read your blog.  Don’t write anything that would get you fired if your boss read it.

4.  Don’t use the blog to vent.  No one else wants to read that.

Unless I’m venting.  Then it’s ok.

5.  If you realize you don’t like writing, stop.  There’s no shame in quitting.

Wimp.

6.  Write what you would want to read.  If you’ve written something boring, change it up.  My favorite technique is exaggeration.

Here’s an example:

What I wrote initially:

BEGIN ORIGINAL WRITING

Today we read about Arnold Schwarzenegger in our civics book.  The book explained that he could never be president because the president must be born as an American citizen.

Boy10 didn’t know who Arnold Schwarzenegger was, so he didn’t understand the reference.  I was surprised that Boy10 didn’t know who Arnold is, since I like Arnold so much.

END ORIGINAL WRITING

Booring!

So I fixed it:

BEGIN EDITED VERSION

Boy10 interrupted me to say, “Who is Arnold Shwaznerger?”

!!!!!

Are you kidding me?  Who is Arnold Shwaznerger??  My precious little boy couldn’t even say the name.  Oh, how I have failed as a parent!  I burst into tears right on the spot.

“Son!  Is this true?  You seriously don’t know who Arnold Schwarzenegger is?”

“Nnnnooo…”

“He’s Conan the Barbarian.”

“Huh?  Who’s that?”

“You don’t know who Conan…”  I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

END EDITED VERSION

See how that works?  Exaggeration is your friend.

7.  Be very careful when writing about other people.  Since I write a humorous blog, my friends know that if they make an appearance in the blog, there will be humor involved.  Some people are ok with gentle teasing and some people are NOT.  Humorous or not, when you write about someone else, be respectful.  There’s a line you just don’t cross.  Know where it is.

Or else make up fake names like “Gerhot” or “Squat” so no one knows who you’re writing about.

8.  Just because you spent the time to write something, doesn’t mean you have to post it.  If it’s bad, delete it and start over.  I personally, never follow this rule.

9.  Some people will disagree with what you write.  They will probably judge you.  Be prepared to handle that.  How do I handle it?  Curled up sobbing in a corner eating Milk Duds.

10.  No, of course I couldn’t come up with ten.  

————–

Picture of the Day:

We went to Casa Rica today with Janet and Gerhot for our free birthday entrees.  Here’s my dinner:

_DSC2041-small

Here’s Gerhot taking pictures of dinner:

_DSC2042-small

Last time we were at Casa Rica, Gerhot told us of when he worked at a clothing store.  It was a small store owned by a single owner.  Gerhot was hired to do pretty much everything: change the light bulbs, lift heavy boxes, etc.  He noticed that if you stood on the balcony right outside the office door, there was a gap in the slats to the ceiling of the women’s dressing rooms.  From just the right angle, you could see into the dressing rooms.

Gerhot was suspicious.  So, he fixed the gap and then told the owner, “I fixed the slats for you.”

The 80-year old owner gave a distressed, “Oh, you did?  Oh.  Well.  Ok.  Thanks.”

Good going, Gerhot, defending women’s rights.

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