Fruits in the Fruit Aisle and “Love Stinks,” said Eponine

FIVE

Walmart has some odd ducks in there.

I was at Walmart today studying the canned fruit, which is right near an end cap. Out of the blue, a man who was walking down the main aisle stopped where I was reading the labels and said, “Excuse me.”

He was probably in his mid 50’s, about 6 feet tall.  Grey hair.  Glasses.  Clean.  Good teeth.  There was nothing about him that got my Spidey-senses tingling.

Walmart Man:  Did you hear the sad news on tv this morning?

Me:  Uumm…

WM:  Or maybe in the paper?

Me:  ?

WM:  It turns out that Santa Claus’ wife is a cripple.  They announced it today.

Me:  (please-go-away expression masked as a pained expression)

WM:  That’s why, whenever you see Santa, he’s got that old bag on his back.

And he burst into laughter and maybe even slapped his thigh, I’m not sure.  Then he wandered away to the next aisle, presumably to spread his good cheer on another unwilling victim.

How bizarre is that?  How often does a complete stranger stop you at the end of the canned fruit aisle to tell you a random joke, laugh, and then melt away into the store?  Maybe there’s more than canned fruit in the fruit aisle at Walmart.

————–

Barbetta asked me today, “I hear you weren’t impressed by Les Miserables.  Didn’t like it?”

No, no, no!  It’s not that.  I really have no words for it.  I liked it as much as one can like something that’s, well, miserable.  There were such powerful themes of sacrificial love in the story that even though it was ugly, it was beautiful.  But it was still ugly.

Like I said yesterday, the word that comes to mind is powerful.  Kris provided another word for me: moving.  Yes.  Moving works as well.  I cannot stop thinking about it.  All day long, it keeps replaying in my mind.  Sort of like having post traumatic stress disorder.

I was moved and it was powerful but I do wish there had been just a little bit of comic relief.  And no, I didn’t find the innkeepers funny at all.  I found them to be disturbing to say the least.  Sneaky, manipulative people frighten me.

And maybe if instead of singing that haunting and heart-wrenching song of unrequited love, On My Own, if Eponine had sung Love Stinks, that might have also provided some welcome relief to the intensity.  On My Own and Love Stinks are virtually the same song, just at a different vocabulary level.  (Oh, close enough–just go with it.)  If you click on each link, you’ll see that both songs start with someone wandering around in a dirty alleyway.  I told you they were the same!

————-

Picture of the Day.
I forgot to take a picture of the day so I had to resort to a self-portrait.

Figured I may as well practice something artsy while I took this picture of myself, so I played with light and shadow and then turned everything brownish in editing.  I like to turn my eyes brown.  And since I’m too wimpy to wear contacts, I’ll have to be content with brown eyes in pictures.

_DSC1921-small

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Fruits in the Fruit Aisle and “Love Stinks,” said Eponine

  1. This is too funny because I had an older gentleman stop me in the Kennie’s parking lot the other day to tell me not one but three very bad chauvinistic jokes and then proceeded to heckle through the parking lot. I left thinking why me…haha

    • Wait a minute… Maybe it was the same guy. My hit and run jokester also told me a joke about God making women out of car parts, but I didn’t want to repeat it on The Blog. I, too, wondered why he picked on me to tell jokes about Mrs. Claus being an “old bag” or women being dipsticks.

      I think he must have recently gone through a bad divorce.

  2. I think there may be a serial creepy joke teller prowling our collection of quiet little towns. A man fitting the same description made me momentarily wish I had a taser. He suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the Kohl’s parking lot as I got out of my car around noon on Black Friday. He asked me if I knew why men really get married. Giving him a similar please-go-away kind of look, he totally ignored me and said, ‘so they always have a turkey for Thanksgiving.’ I didn’t give him a chance to tell a second joke. I took off toward the store, wondering how many hours the man had been canvassing crowded parking lots while he waited for his obviously very highly thought of wife. I had pictured him as half of a grumpy older couple, but he didn’t get past his still-clean, mildly insulting to women opener with me. Hearing of his stellar main act, I’d be inclined to vote victum of a recent nasty divorce as well. I think we must beware and be ready, if not with tasers, at least with a few of our own witty comeback jokes, if in fact this man is on the loose in our area.

  3. Jackie, everything you’ve been saying about Les Miserables makes sense, and I agree: it’s moving, epic and wonderfully done, but yes, ugly too. At first, I couldn’t stand it (the singing all the time? the dirt and grime and bawdy jokes) but after a while the raw emotions of the characters really starts sticking. I came away feeling like I went through what they went through.
    I found the ending Barricades scene especially perfect (in a shocking, tragic sort of way).

    Such a ….. something movie! (And there really isn’t a adequate enough adjective to stick in there!)

  4. Ok, I have been approached by the same man at Kennies…my parents were actually with me at the time, for which I was grateful because it wasn’t QUITE as weird with my dad there telling jokes back to him. He started off asking us if we heard some kind of news event, which I thought was true but turned out to be his opening number. It was long and awkward…he just kept going on and on. We kept walking to my van and he kept following us. In the rain. Finally my mom and I sort of walked ahead leaving my dad to deal with this guy. Maybe it’s time for a citizens arrest. 🙂

  5. The SAME guy approached me the day before Thanksgiving (in Giant) with the same joke Shelby mentioned above. I told him he needed to think of something else to do. But, he actually came up to me AGAIN somewhere else in the store with another joke. He was walking around Giant with a cup of coffee, obviously not grocery shopping. I saw him telling numerous shoppers his dumb jokes, laughing hard at himself each time. Creepy!!!

Oo! A comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s