Boy10 is sick today. If he was in a brick and mortar school, I’d have kept him home. Unfortunately for him, he’s homeschooled. Dum dum dum.
The plan: Boy7 is all caught up on school, so I sent him to a friend’s house to play. While Boy7 was away I would read Boy10’s lessons to him.
First was a civics book I picked up at the library. It’s a really good book but I won’t tell you the title or all the local homeschoolers will pop over to the public library website and put a hold on it and I won’t be able to renew it.
Boy10 interrupted me to say, “Who is Arnold Shwaznerger?”
Are you kidding me? Who is Arnold Shwaznerger?? My precious little boy couldn’t even say the name. Oh, how I have failed as a parent! I burst into tears right on the spot.
“Son! Is this true? You seriously don’t know who Arnold Schwarzenegger is?”
“He’s Conan the Barbarian.”
“Huh? Who’s that?”
“You don’t know who Conan…” I couldn’t even speak. Fortunately, my iPad was at the ready. I signed into Netflix and was very disappointed to see that Conan the Barbarian is not on streaming, so I put it in my DVD queue.
But The Terminator was streaming. Yes!
“Look! The Terminator is streaming! Arnold is also known for being the Terminator. I’ll show you.”
“The terminator? Oh yeah! I think I heard you mention the terminator, once…”
Once? Only once? It was like a knife to the heart. I’ve lived with this person for a decade, and he’s only heard me talk about the terminator once? The terminator movies are on my Top 20 list. What kind of education am I giving this boy?! A shoddy one, that’s what!
I started up the movie. “Let’s just watch the Naked Arnold scene and then go back to reading…”
We watched the Naked Arnold scene.
“Let’s just watch the Naked Reese scene and then go back to reading…”
We watched the Naked Reese scene.
“Let’s just watch the Reese Dreams About the Future scene and then go back to reading…”
We watched the Future scene.
As I’m sure you’ve surmised, we watched all the scenes (except for the Naked Sarah scene) before we went back to reading. Boy10 was deliciously horrified at the Cutting out of the Eyeball scene. (“Eeeewwww!” “You wanna stop watching?” “No way! Keep going!” Atta boy.)
Somewhere in all that, we got to the line where Arnold says, “I’ll be back.” I told him, “That’s it! That’s the most famous Arnold line ever! If you walk up to anyone on the planet and say, ‘Be Arnold Schwarzenegger and say something,’ they’ll say, ‘I’ll be back.’”
Boy10 thought that was hilarious and didn’t quite believe me. So when Darling Husband got home, Boy10 went up to him and said, “If you were Arnold Schwarzenegger, what would be something you’d say?”
And Darling Husband answered, “Hasta la vista, baby.”