This is Quite Possibly My Most Shocking Blog Post Ever. Well, I was shocked, anyway.

There are events  in your life that mark endings and beginnings.  For example, before vs after your wedding day or before vs after the death of a loved one.  These are the events in your life that change you.  These are the events that mark a turning point in your life.

I experienced such an event today.

When I woke up this morning, the plan of the day was to attend a homeschool co-op Christmas party.  I’d eat the cookies, drink the milk, and chat with the other parents.  It was going to be a day much like any other day.

I had no idea that I would be witness to one of the most shocking and deeply disturbing events of my entire life.

The Christmas party was held at a nearby nature preserve.  The party included children making bird feeders for the birds and listening to a presentation on the animals that live at the nature preserve.

Boy10 hangs a bird feeder on a tree.

Boy10 hangs a bird feeder on a tree.

I was taking pictures of the presentation, as were most of the other parents.  Remember—the wicked state of Pennsylvania forces us to make a scrapbook every year of the educational things we did with the kids.  Blah.  Also, the co-op president (she’s the one with the orange shag carpet on her bathroom walls) wasn’t able to attend the party and asked us to take pictures for her.   So, I was a Photographer On The Job.

The woman doing the presentation loved the little animals.  She would pet each and every one of them, and wing them around her head with great affection.  Here’s a picture.

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Things was fine and everyone was happy.  There were animals to see and cookies to be eaten.  It was a lovely party.

And then it all changed.  Because then the woman did something that I’m pretty sure scarred every child present, and I know it scarred me.  I will never be the same.

It’s not every day that this sort of thing happens.  It’s not every day that everything you knew about the world is turned on its head.

Because, while we were all trustingly looking at her and not bracing ourselves for the horror that was to come….

…she picked up a Madagascarian Hissing Cockroach….

Hissing cockroach from Madagascar

Hissing cockroach from Madagascar

….and she put it on her face.

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Bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?  Me neither

I stayed calm in front of the children, but I only just hung on.  If it had been a million legger, I would have run screaming from the room, setting off everyone.  We would have all run screaming and flapping our arms around, pouring out of the building and melting into the woods.

Here’s a closeup of the bug, just to prove that I’m getting really good at this photography stuff.  You do realize that I was at 55mm, so I was reeeeeally close to the Madagascarian Hissing Cockroach, right?  Am I cool under pressure, or what?

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—————

Picture of the Day:

But on a happy note, I found my party favors for my birthday party.  They were in the nature center gift shop.  Read the ingredients carefully.

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And no, they’re not kidding.  Some of the kids there had eaten them before and said the cricket is crunchy.  See this one, encased in his hydrogenated starch hydrolysate:

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2 thoughts on “This is Quite Possibly My Most Shocking Blog Post Ever. Well, I was shocked, anyway.

  1. Hahaha! Love it! Wish I could join your awesome homeschool co-op. Sounds like fun–and I hear they have the best photographer around. (Actually, that close-up of the –shudder– cockroach is pretty impressive.)

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