Smudged Mascara, Naked Babies, and Fake Greenery

I can’t get my pictures off my camera!

Did you hear me?  I said, I can’t get my pictures off my camera!

How will I know what I did today without being able to see the pictures?  You do realize, don’t you, that I sit down every evening with absolutely no idea what I’m going to write until I see the pictures.

Here’s what happens:

I sit down.  No.  That’s not true.  I’ve already been sitting down goofing off on the computer.

Eventually, I upload the pictures.

I look at them and pick one that might be of interest.

Then…I write.  The first paragraph is always horrible.  Horrible, horrible, horrible.  I’d be mortified if anyone read it.

I delete it.

I start over.

The next attempt is almost as bad.  Almost.  Maybe a smidge better.

I delete that one, too.

With that out of the way, I begin to write.  It’s usually terribly boring. I have to rework it until it’s even remotely interesting.  By then it’s 11:00 and I post it and go to bed.

No.  That’s not true either.  I post it and then “get ready for bed” which involves reading a book for the next hour.

But today…today.  Oh, today.

I sat down.  I lurked on the homeschool forum and assessed an essay.

I plugged the camera into the computer so I could upload the pictures…

Nothing.

I rebooted.

Nothing.

I tried plugging it into Darling Husband’s computer.

Nothing.

Is it the cable?  The camera?!

Oh, look!  The battery light is blinking.  Hopefully that’s the problem.  I replaced it with my backup battery.  But—oh no!  No power!  My backup battery wasn’t charged!

Inconceivable!

But apparently, true.  I’ve got a battery charging now and hopefully that’ll solve the problem.

While that charges, let’s back up and recount the events of the day.

At church this morning, Michael asked me to get a generic Christmas Picture for the church website.  He said, “Get a picture of the Christmas tree.”  But the church Christmas tree is fake and fake greenery doesn’t translate well into pictures.

No problem.  Scott, who started Photo Club and puts all my pictures to shame, had just announced that his Christmas tree was up at his house.  Ring, ring.  “Scott.  Take a picture of your tree for the church website.  Wait…it’s real, right?”

Wrong.  Fake tree.

Scott said, “Wouldn’t a nativity scene be more appropriate for, you know…a church?”  Oh.  Yeah.  Guess so.  “Look around.  There’s probably one in the church somewhere.”

There was, but it was a teeny tiny one painted by an artist with a shaky hand.  Mary’s mascara was smeared on the side of her head and Joseph’s eyes were crossed.  Not appropriate!

The only nativity set I have is one made out of Playmobil toys.  Not appropriate!

I turned to Facebook.  Facebook is where you can contact your friends without having to actually contact your friends.  I wrote, “Hey!  Anyone have a nativity set I can photograph?”

I began to assess the essay.  After assessing for a while, I needed a break.  Checked Facebook.  Yes!  Ada has a nativity set!  Ring, Ring.  “Ada. Can I take pictures of your nativity set right now?”  “Sure!”

Got to her house.  The nativity set was really nice.  However, the baby was naked and er…anatomically correct. Which is all fine and good, unless you’re going to post it on the church website.  Not appropriate!

But she had a tree. And it was not a great big shiny aluminum Christmas tree.  Like the velveteen rabbit, it was real.

So…back to Michael’s original plan:  a picture of a tree.  I think I got the picture I want, but I’m not sure.  The battery is still charging.

————

It’s working!  Shew!

Mary’s smudged mascara.

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Darling Husband says, “Give the woman a break.  She just gave birth.”

We tried making swaddling clothes out of a Kleenex. It didn’t look right.

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An ornament on the tree.  Generic Christmas picture, yes?

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