A Confession

Today not one, but two of my friends have instructed me to set the record straight in The Blog.

First was Jo-Ann.  I’ve known Jo-Ann for 27 years, so by now we know each other pretty well. She’s the one whom I accidentally hugged at the funeral to both of our horror.

I haven’t had a face-to-face conversation alone with Jo-Ann in 3 years.  There have always been packs of children screeching in the background or husbands hogging the conversation.   Now, granted, when her husband Rob and Darling Husband get together they’re one of the funniest acts I’ve seen in a long time so it’s been worth not having a conversation with Jo-Ann in three years just to listen to the two of them crack jokes.

Today Jo-Ann drove the hour and a half so that she and I could go to a quiet lunch alone.  Over lunch, she mentioned Darling Husband’s new car.  She told me that Rob expressed concern over our dire financial straits.  She responded with something like, “Dude.  They’re the most well-to-do “poor” people I know.  I may be thrifty, but the Lizards are just plain cheap.  Darling Husband makes a decent salary and they hoard all their money, so they’re fine.”

Sigh.  She’s right.  I’ve made a big to-do about the car payment because she’s right: we are cheap!  It pains us to part with our beautiful cocaine laced cash.  (Google “cocaine money”.)  It’s not that we can’t afford the car.  We just don’t want to pay for the car.

After a dreadful lunch of congealed cheese (I had to eat my French Onion Soup with a knife and fork.), we came back to my house to find that Michael was visiting.  I knew he was there because on the back of his car are four stickers of a little Wookie/Ewok/Padme/Jawa family.

On the back of Jo-Ann’s car are four stickers of a little AT-AT family.  Jo-Ann and Michael, though they’ve never met before, had an immediate rapport.

The new car came up in conversation again with Michael and he said, “I don’t believe the car payment is really as bad as you’ve made it out to be.  Something doesn’t ring true.”

Michael knows.

Darling Husband and Michael are on the finance committee at church. I’ve never been to the meetings, but I’d love to be a fly on the wall.  Darling Husband’s response to everything is, “Let’s wait and think it over until enough time has passed that we’ve talked ourselves out of actually spending any money.”

Michael’s response to everything is, “That’s an awesome idea!  Let’s implement it right now!  And if we have to buy a brand new Apple product to implement it, all the better!”

Even though I suspect there is much gritting of teeth on both sides, this is a good thing.  The two of them together bring balance to the force.

Jo-Ann and Michael, who understand the Lizards’ cheapness better than anyone else on the planet, both agreed that I’d better set the record straight on The Blog, or we’ll start getting bags of groceries on our doorstep.

So, guys, no bags of groceries, please.  We’re fine.

And now I’m off to unscrew half the light bulbs in each chandelier.

No, not really!  …But it is a good idea now that I think about it…

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Picture of the Day.

But first, a Facebook exchange:

Jo-Ann: Lunch today with Jackie. I’m gonna have to do my hair & makeup. Because you know she’s gonna have that camera.

Stacy:  Who is Jackie?

Rob:  Just don’t let Elizabeth do your hair and makeup. Because you know Jackie’s gonna have that camera.

Jo-Ann:  Stacy, Jackie is a friend from Lansdowne.  She’s taken up photography lately so you always have to be prepared when she’s around.

Jackie: If E does you makeup, I can do a Bond girl picture of you!!

Jackie: YouR. Dreadful iPad.

Jenn:  I remember her! Wasn’t she from England?

Jo-Ann, in the ill-lit basement of The Dobbin House.  Sorry for the blur.

Cherry cheesecake.

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Edited to add stolen pictures from Michael and Jo-Ann’s Facebook pages:

Michael’s car

Jo-Ann’s car