A Piercing, A Near Drowning, Vodka, and My Russian Basement

It was a really rough day all around for everyone.

First of all, I arrived at the homeschool co-op to find that the Hands On Science preschool teacher called in sick–and so did all her helpers.

Except for me.

And the Dr. Seuss preschool teacher was MIA, as were the helpers.

Except for me.

Huh?? Wait a minute…I thought my gig as a preschool teacher was done.  Grrrr.

While I was hastily and bad-naturedly cheerily coming up with a completely lame brilliant craft project involving brown paper bags and broken crayons, the Dr. Seuss preschool teacher arrived.  Yay!  She made us eat green eggs and bacon.  They tasted better than I thought they would.

But when I went to pick up Boy7 from his class, I found that he’d lost an eye and gained a piercing.  Those homeschoolers are so weird.  Leave your kid alone with them for a minute and this is what happens!

Apparently, raising an Obama Chia Pet is much like raising a toddler.  You know how they say to keep buckets of water covered because toddlers will fall in them?  Yup.   Here’s where we found the Obama Chia: in one of the buckets of hurricane water.

You know how plastic bags are This is Not a Toys and need to be Kept Out of Reach of Children because they’re Suffocation Hazzards?  Yup.  Obama Chia got into the bags today, too.  Sheesh.  I didn’t realize it would be such hard work keeping an eye on him.

Somewhere in the middle of all the drama today, I made my way down into my Really Creepy Basement that’s Full of Million Leggers to hang up some laundry.

It’s impossible to walk into that cold cinderblock basement with those holey rags without breaking into a Russian accent and asking for a vodka.  From what I could tell from the Anti-Communism propaganda reports on 60 Minutes in the 80’s, this basement would be high livin’ in Russia.  Except they’d probably have a Rubik’s Cube in there somewhere.  I remember a 60 Minutes about how Russia was getting a few things from the West, but mostly it was just Rubik’s Cubes.

Speaking of vodka, did I tell you about the time my dad was getting up to go to the kitchen and I said, “Can you bring me a drink when you come back?” and he brought me a glass of “water” but really it was vodka?  I was about 10 and took a big gulp.  Parents are so bizarre.

Ended the day at Barbetta’s house for a Non-Soup Day.  Instead it was a Grape/Orange/Candycorn/Danish Night.  I got a picture of it on the iPad, but I can’t figure out how to get it from the iPad into this post….

It’s mere minutes till midnight!  Done writing!

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