The Food Is Bad at a Pity Party but Good at a Brandi Party

So I was feeling particularly pathetic and sorry for myself today.  No, I won’t bore you with details, but I was having quite the pity party for myself.  Pity parties are grey affairs: the appetizers are pretzel sticks (no dip), dinner is grisly pork chops, and for dessert…green jello.

Right in the middle of my pity party, I realized that I didn’t have a crucial ingredient for dinner tonight, so I moped out of the house in my green minivan to the grocery store for the ingredient.

And there was Brandi in the parking lot getting out of her blue minivan at the same time.  Mope, mope.  “Hi, Brandi.”  “Hi, Jackie.  Why aren’t you coming to my Thirty-One party tonight?”  Thirty-One is a company that sells all sorts of bags.

Cringe.  Be honest?  Or lie?  What the heck: be honest.  “Because I won’t buy anything.”

“That’s ok.  You can come anyway.”

“I mean…I really won’t buy anything.  Nothing.”  I have a roof to buy.  And a flash.  And a zoom lens.  And boots.  I need two pair of boots this year and I missed all the sales at the end of last year.

“Really, come anyway.  We’d love to have your …”  Dang it.  I can’t remember what she said, but it was complimentary.  Something about my wit and charm and amazing good looks.  Who am I to resist when people are begging for my company and plying me with compliments?  So with one last reassurance to Brandi that I wouldn’t buy a thing, I agreed to go to the party.

And no, I didn’t buy anything, but I did manage to get a couple of pictures.

Here they are:

The philo dough things.  Appetizers at Thirty-One parties are way better than appetizers at pity parties.  (There were homemade crab cakes, too.  Oh, heaven!)  The philo dough things look particularly good in the picture because Brandi has black dishes.  That’s because she’s married to Kevin.  She wanted her food to look good on the plates when Kevin took pictures of them, so that’s why she bought the black plates.  Actually, I made that up, but it’s a good theory.

Here is a picture of some flowers.  It’s pretty blah.

So, I took a picture of Alesia across the room from the flowers.  I like this one much better than the one of just the flowers:

You may not know it, but you saw Alesia on my blog last Friday.  Here:

Alesia asked me, “So, how do you do make one part of the picture blurry and one part clear?”

I hesitated.  If you ask me a question like that about photography I’ll quite happily take the next half hour to explain it to you in great detail.  She was looking at me so trustingly, not knowing that at that point I could have bored her to tears and driven her from the party before she had a chance to finish placing her order.

Fortunately for her, all the essay assessing I’ve been doing is helping me with my social graces.  I’m constantly telling the essay writers, “Be succinct and use small words.”  I took my own advice and managed to tell her how to do the blurry/clear thing in about three sentences.  Very impressive.  She has no idea of the bullet she dodged.  Shew!


2 thoughts on “The Food Is Bad at a Pity Party but Good at a Brandi Party

  1. “candid banter”… That’s what I said. You are always fun to have around, and I am glad you came. I had no idea that you were in the middle of a pity party, but I’m glad that you left if for a few hours to come to my party. 🙂

    • Candid banter! That was it!

      The pity party was pretty boring anyway, so I’m glad I could honestly tell the hostess, “I have somewhere I need to go,” and extract myself from it graciously.

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