Bamboozled, Flattery, Green Scenery, and Salsa

Howdy!  Does anyone within a 30 minute drive of Union Mills, MD have a lovely expanse of green (trees, farm, yard, etc.) where Photo Club can park some hot rod cars and take pictures of them next Sat. the 29th from 5-7 pm?

I already have some people in mind that I might be calling and begging for access to their green scenery.

(Sharon, this means you.  Yes, you.  I only know one Sharon, so it’s you.  Wait!  I take that back!  I know two Sharons!  So…it’s the one who has the long driveway on a hill with a lovely green tree line in the background.)

Make sure your caller ID is working if you plan on avoiding me.  You’ve been warned.

Picture of the day:  Salsa.

That’s a triple batch.  I made it for Barbetta.  Oh, I could have just given her the recipe, but that would be too easy.

Instead, she bamboozled me a la Tom Sawyer by saying, “Why, Jackie,” and yes, she developed a sudden Southern accent for the conversation, “Why, Jackie, Ah could just git the recipe from yew and make my own little batch of salsa, but it never turns out quite the same as when yew make it.”

You know how they say flattery will get you nowhere?  That’s only true for some people.  Flattery will get you pretty far with me.  So, I preened and fluttered my eyelashes and agreed to make it.

“Why, thank yew.  But, silly old me, Ah think we’ll need a double batch…well actually, a triple batch of your delicious salsa would be best.”

She’s right, though: the salsa is amazing.  It’s because of my not-so-secret ingredient.  Here it is:

It has to be that brand, and it has to be that flavor.  Yes, it makes a difference.  And no, you cannot recreate Del Monte’s special recipe at home (said with the most disdainful tone of voice I can drum up).  Trying to crush your own tomatoes and sauté your own garlic in olive oil doesn’t work.  It just doesn’t.  Don’t even try it.  Just buy the can and be happy.

Here’s the recipe:

2 14.5 oz cans tomatoes–Del Monte, Garlic and Olive Oil flavor, or don’t even bother.

1 4-oz can diced green chili peppers

A Whole Lot of sliced green onions.  Especially the bottom part.

Cilantro, cilantro, cilantro, snipped into tiny bits.

2 Tablespoons of lemon juice

Some pepper.  Careful.  Unless you like it hot.

Tons of garlic.

Tortilla chips.

Mix in a big bowl, except for the chips.  Eat it right away if you want to, but you can also get it nice and cold for a good 4 hours and it’ll be even better.

According to the cook book where I got the recipe, this stuff’ll last two weeks in the fridge.  Yeah, right.  I predict that it’ll be gone within two days.


P.S.  I could quite easily be persuaded to make salsa for anyone who offers their green scenery to Photo Club for the hot rod photo shoot.


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