I Am Sparta and Shooting Lasers at Girls is a Bad Way to Flirt

If you remember from yesterday, today was Day 2 of Boy9’s Birthday Party and the day they were scheduled to play laser tag.

A bad thing:  one of the guests was sick and couldn’t make it to the party.  A good thing:  this left an open pre-paid spot on the laser tag team.

Trying to be mature, I asked Boy9, “Do you want me to play with you or do you want it to be a guy thing?”  (Please say I can play, please say I can play!)

He looked distressed and said, “Mooom!  You have to  play!  All my friends want you to play!”


These kids consider me to be the Rambo of laser tag.  I guess my 39 years of spartan military life compared to their 10 years of easy living, does make me seem like Rambo to them.


I haven’t lived 39 years of spartan military life.  I’ve just watched the movie 300.  According to 300, all you have to do to win a battle is pile up the dead bodies of your enemies into a wall to fight behind and you’re good to go.

Note: no, I do not recommend watching 300.  For crying out loud.  What were those women wearing? Uh–not much. Sheesh.

See, last time I played laser tag with this group of kids, I was on the opposite team.  Their strategy: hang around in a big glowing group like sitting ducks.  My strategy: hide behind a wall and take them out one at a time, over and over and over.

This time, whenever I caught them huddling together I drill-sergeant yelled at them to “spread out!”  We won all four of our matches.

We were playing against a group of 10 year old girls.  Most of the boys in my group are only dimly aware of girls, but a couple of them were talking in the car on the way over about some girls they have crushes on.

These two boys were a bit distracted by our opponents.  The one boy, unbeknownst to me until the conversation on the ride home, ended up stalking a girl from the opposite team.  He followed her everywhere she went and shot her every few seconds.  He didn’t quite understand why she wasn’t reciprocating his obvious affection for her.  I mean, it’s not every day that a strapping young man is willing to follow you around and shoot a laser at you.  Instead of batting her eyelashes at him, she shot him dirty looks.  Didn’t she know he was in love?  Women.  They’re so hard to please.

After laser tag, we went back to the house and the boys ate hot dogs, cake, and all of my Doritoes.  All of them.  Sigh.  Then they watched cartoons on the projector.

Darling Husband was too tired to even hold up the MacBook, so he took off his glasses, propped the MacBook under his chin and nearsightedly watched some cricket.  Boy7 took the opportunity, while the older boys were watching cartoons, to have the Wii all to himself.

I sat down to read a book, and promptly fell asleep on the chair.  Next thing I knew, parents were knocking on the door and the party was over.

It was a good day.


2 thoughts on “I Am Sparta and Shooting Lasers at Girls is a Bad Way to Flirt

  1. Pretty full life you live. In our house the sport of choice is airsofting. This is where some poor sot gets invited as a team member but in reality is THE target. I have declined to-date. I’m really not sure what to think of the “Macbook under the chin” thing. Who says being resourceful takes effort!

    • I’m kinda a wimp. Laser tag is painless. Airsofting, on the other hand, looks like it might sting a little or someone might lose an eye. I am a mother after all. Gotta be on the lookout for those “lose an eye” situations.

      “Who says being resourceful takes effort!” I like that line.

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