Slobby PJs, Pompous Lizards, and Alien Possession

PJ day again.  On a PJ day, I hang around in my pajamas all day long.  It’s such a novel thing that Darling Husband thinks it’s cute when I have a PJ day.  I doubt that he’d find it so cute if I wore my slobby PJs for days on end without bathing.

The last time I had a PJ day was on January 3rd.  I know, because I posted a picture of it on The Blog.  On Jan 3rd I was wearing my Steelers hat because it was so cold in the house.

The thing I hate about summer: being sweaty and gross when I’m outside. The thing I like about summer:  being toasty warm when I’m inside…and no hat head. I think my affinity towards lizards goes beyond my affection for the creatures themselves.

What a dorky sentence that last one was.  Can it possibly sound more pompous?

“I think my affinity towards lizards goes beyond my affection for the creatures themselves.”

Sheesh.

What I meant was that lizards are cold blooded, so they need the surrounding temperature to be warm, and I’m the same way.

I’m telling ya, when your Mama only lets you read classic novels when you’re a kid, you end up using bizarre vocabulary words and convoluted sentences.  Seriously people, I read all of the Bronte sisters in middle school and moved up to Dostoevsky and Tolstoy in early high school—for fun.

There was only one kid worse than me.  (Worse than I?)  There I was, being my normal nerdy self reading “All Quiet on the Western Front” in 9th grade, ignoring the kids around me.  An even nerdier boy with thick glasses and pimples leaned over and said, “Oh.  That was a great book.  I read it in 8th grade.”

Show off.

I don’t read classics anymore. I stick to spy novels, detective stories and sci-fi or fantasy, but apparently the groundwork was laid.

The thing is I honestly do not mean to use facnypants words.  There I am, in the middle of a normal conversation, and then the decade of non-stop classics takes over–like that sentence about the lizard.  I can’t control it.  Out pops some convoluted sentence or some obscure vocabulary word, without me even trying.  I’m just as surprised by it as you are.

It’s like an alien possession.  But not really.  Because if it was an alien possession, my voice would either go really deep or sound like two voices superimposed on each other.  Which never makes sense to me.  Just because the alien possesses you, your vocal chords don’t suddenly change length, so your voice should stay the same.  Dumb movie makers.

I’m tired of writing and am going to bed and I don’t even have to change in to my jammies.  I love PJ day.

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4 thoughts on “Slobby PJs, Pompous Lizards, and Alien Possession

  1. I find myself strugging with similar verbose situations; my spouse often decries that I spend a large allotment of my leisure time reading the dictionary. I repeatedly remind him the dictionary and the encyclopedia are two largely different tomes.

    • My mother used to read the dictionary for fun.

      The more animated I get in conversation, the worse it gets. That’s when the verbose instincts take over and I forget to try to blend in with the “normals.” We book people need to stick together which is why I’m still considering whether I have enough time/energy to try to start a friendship with the local librarians.

  2. I’ve always had a larger vocabulary too, and one of my friends asked me why I “always had to use such big words when a smaller word could work too” and I explained that often the “larger” words I choose more accurately convey what I’m trying to express than a smaller word might and if I have a larger vocabulary at my disposal why shouldn’t I make use of it? She didn’t like that answer very much because she sometimes big words are confusing, another friend of ours piped in that usually you can figure out what I’m saying by context 😉 STRANGELY I’m still friends with the one who figures out what I’m saying by context and not the other friend. Keep the interesting language flowing, dumb yourself down for no one – but that being said, I think we all need to be mindful that we aren’t being wordy just for the sake of being wordy 😉 cute PJ’s.

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