A Stealth Bomber Blew Up The House, Climate Control Parkas, and Leaping for Frozen Food

Grocery shopping day, as you can tell.  This is what was gathering above my house before I left:

Had to change grocery shopping day to today because I need ingredients for an emergency batch of minestrone soup early tomorrow morning.

Why the emergency batch?

Some acquaintances of mine were sleeping contentedly in their home the other night, when they were awakened at 3 a.m. by the sound of a car crashing into their house.  Well, that’s the original version.  The first time I heard the story it was a car.  By the 3rd time I heard the story it was a tractor trailer, and by the 5th time it was a stealth bomber.  You know the drill.

I’m sticking with the first version.

Anyway, the car took out their staircase and also bumped into a gas line.  The seven, yes seven, of them stood at the top of the second story staircase, looking past the gaping hole where their stairs used to be, and could see all the way down into the basement.  They had to leap to safety past the stairs that weren’t there into the kitchen that got smashed.  Apparently, the kitchen was an addition, and when half the house went one way from the car crash, the kitchen went the other way.  They didn’t want to waste any time waiting for help to get off the second story, because of the gas fumes they were smelling, which is why there was all the leaping.  The house could explode at any moment.

Unfortunately, the house was knocked off its foundation and was condemned.  All seven, yes seven, of them had to move back in with the wife’s parents.  They aren’t allowed back in their condemned house, so all of their belongings are pretty much gone forever.

And now all nine (seven + grandmom and granddad) need to be fed.   Hence, the emergency batch of minestrone soup.  And bread.  And butter.  And cookies!

Actually, it’s 8:00 p.m. and I’m just heading out now to the grocery store.  Sigh.  This day is lasting forever.  So, off I go to sprinkle anti-stink powder on my feet before putting on my sandals, and to grab my parka so that I don’t get too cold in the store.

The parka was Kevin’s idea. You remember Kevin,  from Photo Club.  Kevin was a little sad that I didn’t give out any of his secrets the other day when I posted Photo Club member secrets.  If you must know, whenever I drive Photo Club members around I end up having to keep my car too cold for comfort because Kevin is always too hot.  If I’m comfortable in the car, then Kevin is melting into his seat and gasping for air, like a dying fish.  When I whined about how I wish we had climate control clothes, his response was, “You do. It’s called a parka.  Put it on when you get cold.”  Thanks, Kevin.  You’re always so helpful.

Ok—off I go.  When I get back, I’ll take the picture of the storm (that you’re already looking at) off the camera and post this.

———–

I’m back.  So glad I wore my parka!  All the cold and frozen foods that I wanted were on the top shelf and almost all gone except for the few items waaaaay in the back of the shelf.

For example, I buy a lot of milk and I buy it in half gallons.  By the time I got to the 6th half gallon, I could barely reach the remaining 5 half gallons that I needed.  I had to ask some guy in the store to give me a boost up.

No, that’s not true.  Look at the milk aisle:

No one is there.  Sure, I’m pretty tired grocery shopping at 9:00 at night, but at least the store is empty.  But, no guy to give me a boost.  I had to stretch.

Then, I couldn’t reach the frozen ravioli dinners that I like to eat for lunch.  There were only a few left, waaaay on the back of the top shelf.  For those, I had to prop open the door, stand on the little ledge and hoist myself up to the top shelf and fling the boxes of ravioli over my shoulder into my cart.  A bunch of frozen lasagna dinners came toppling down past me, bumping painfully into my knees.

And I couldn’t reach the frozen fish either.  For that one, I managed to leap into the freezer and hook the bag on the tip of my pen, and wing it out past my head.

Again, very glad I wore the parka.  Hanging about in freezers is cold.  Ok–it wasn’t a parka, exactly.  It was a fitted jacket.

They really shouldn’t put short people food on the top shelves.  They should only put tall people stuff on top shelves.  Like the French cut green beans should be on the top shelf, because French cut green beans are tall.  Or the frozen shoestring fries.  They’re tall, too.  And long johns certainly should be on the top shelf, because they’re long.

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2 thoughts on “A Stealth Bomber Blew Up The House, Climate Control Parkas, and Leaping for Frozen Food

  1. Wow that car must have really hit their house hard for it to be condemned to the point where they can’t even go back in – that’s terrible 😦 my friend had a truck hit her house and all they had to do was get some repairs and it went right in too, but I guess it depends how strong the house is and how it hits it etc. but still you’d think once they contained the gas leak they’d be able to let them go back in with supervision or something? That’s just awful.

    • It is awful. And I was told today that it’s starting to lean even more. They had snuck in and taken a few things out, but now it’s even more dangerous and I really hope they stop sneaking in!

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