Death by Chicken Truck, I’m Suffering, and Don’t Distract The Queen’s Guards

I have long suspected that I have mild ADD, but I didn’t want to admit it to Darling Husband because I get so much joy out of making fun of his ADHD.  But I took a little online test today, just to see.  It tells me that I “suffer from mild attention and concentration difficulties.”   Oooo!  I suffer.  Suffering makes it sound so noble.  Actually, I’m suffering more from smelling the neighbor’s yummy Chinese take out through the open window than I am from any old ADD.

What made me think I had ADD?  Well, the number one reason is that I can follow along with Darling Husband’s train of thought, and he has some serious ADHD.  If you can go for an entire day following Darling Husband’s train of thought and whip-fast change of topics, then that’s a pretty good litmus test for having ADD.  And if you fidget while following his train of thought, then you have ADHD.

And the other reason I think I have ADD are the concentration issues.  It’s just mild ADD, so it’s not a constant problem.  But there are times when I am unable to focus, like when Darling Husband has a guest visiting and they’re warbling old 80’s songs.  It’s especially bad when Darling Husband sings falsetto.  But, honestly, you don’t have to have ADD to be distracted by that.  Men singing falsetto is so bizarre that it would distract even the guards outside of Buckingham Palace.

If I’m not distracted, then I become hyper-focused.

The hyper-focusing happens when I read books or take pictures. I’m afraid it’ll be the death of me.  One day I’ll be sitting in the middle of the road taking a picture, which is where I end up taking an astonishingly large portion of pictures, and I’ll be so focused on the picture that I’ll get squashed by a passing chicken truck.

Anyway, what brought this up?  The fact that I have 5479 emails in hotmail, 1694 in yahoo, and 40 in gmail and I can’t seem to focus long enough to clean them out.  Didn’t I just clean out my hotmail account like 2 years ago?  It’s all those emails from Lumber Liquidators.  Just how much lumber do they think I need?

5479 emails. Crikey!

It wouldn’t take long to clean them out.  Sort them by sender and then delete them in big blocks.  But that would require a tiny bit of focus and that’s so boring I don’t even feel like finishing this senten…

I think I’ll just wait until they send me emails saying that I’ve used up all my space.

Waiting seems to be working out nicely for me:  I’m waiting to see how long the family sweatpants will last, waiting to see how long it takes that sock to disintegrate outside, and waiting to see how long it takes the mouse in the jar to decompose.

I can read a book or take a picture while I wait.  Works for me.


And here’s the song I’ve become addicted to and have listened to all day long until I’m almost sick of it.  (Somebody that I used to know.)


2 thoughts on “Death by Chicken Truck, I’m Suffering, and Don’t Distract The Queen’s Guards

  1. My inbox isn’t that bad, but I do have a terrible habit of saying “I’ll do it tomorrow” when I see the rows and rows of emails.

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