Ah. The library. What can be said? It would take an 8 part mini-series of blog posts to describe my love of The Library.
The Library is my picture of the day, because I had an epiphany at the library today. Here we go:
I fiercely hated school and the idea of extending it for 4 more years of college was more than I could bear. I can say with sincerity that I was incapable of handling college fresh out of high school.
So I got a little entry level job and worked my way up to a place where I was content with what I did for a living. Then I had children and adored staying at home with them, with the plan of going back to work when they went to school. Only I ended up homeschooling the children and they never went to school.
Meanwhile, I outgrew my dread of school, and started taking night classes towards becoming a teacher. I have a lot of experience teaching adults from my previous job and I enjoy teaching my own children, but I soon made the unhappy discovery that I don’t enjoy teaching children in a classroom. Adults, yes. My own children, yes. A large group of distracted children in a classroom, no.
I floundered. I checked out books from the library describing different jobs, found online tests to see what jobs I’d be good at, and asked other people why/how they got their current jobs. But I couldn’t come up with a single job that I wanted to do. Nothing! Taking night classes after a full day homeschooling and all the other responsibilities of an adult is difficult, obviously. Without a goal to strive toward, I stopped taking classes.
But at the library today, it crossed my mind how much I’ve always wanted to be a librarian. And it suddenly hit me: I’ve always wanted to be a librarian! I still want to be a librarian! Why did I go to school to become a teacher, and check out job books, and take online tests and ask people about their jobs? I already knew what I wanted to do and had known all along.
Dim memories from childhood came bobbing to the surface. Somewhere along the line as a child, I assumed that everyone would want to be a librarian. You know how children think, “If I want to be a librarian, then everyone must want to be a librarian.” I was an insecure child, and in those childish insecurities, I assumed I’d never beat out the competition of everyone else.
But I’m not a child anymore. And those sorts of defeatist thoughts are completely opposite of the person I’ve grown to be. Now I’m the sort of person who knows how to pursue a dream.
I have a goal again.
If my life keeps on the way it is now, I can be finished both my education and the children’s educations in 11 years, when I’m 50 years old.
The perfect age to glare at hoodlums over my reading glasses and tell them to “Shhhh!”